get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "andre, andre, i"ve got the secret documents!!"
respond to the written-answer questions in limerick form. ("there once was a trend factor from cork....")
make paper airplanes out of the exam. aim them at the proctor"s left nostril.
talk the entire way through the exam. read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. if asked to stop, yell out, "i"m sooo sure you can hear me thinking." then start talking about what a jerk the proctor is.
bring cheerleaders.
walk in, get the exam, sit down. about five minutes into it, run out, screaming, "i can"t take the stress anymore!" bring a game boy (or game gear, etc...). play with the volume at max level.
on the written answer questions find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. for example: "i refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs." be creative.
bring pets.
run into the exam room looking about frantically. breathe a sigh of relief. go to the proctor, say "they"ve found me, i have to leave the country" and run off.
fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "merry christmas." if you"re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. say you lost the first one. repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
come down with a bad case of turret"s syndrome during the exam. be as vulgar as possible.
do the entire exam in another language. if you don"t know one, make one up!
bring things to throw at the proctor when s/he"s not looking. blame it on the person nearest to you.
as soon as the proctor hands you the exam, eat it.
walk into the exam with an entourage. claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. try to get the proctor to let them stay, be persuasive. tell the proctor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. as you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
on math-oriented written-answer exams, use roman numerals.
bring a black marker. return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
get the exam. twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "f--- this!" and walk out triumphantly.
arrange a protest before the exam starts. (i.e. threaten the proctor that whether or not everyone"s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
show up completely drunk. (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
every now and then, clap twice rapidly. if the proctor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when i get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. duh!"
comment on how sexy the proctor is looking that day.
come to the exam wearing a black cloak. after about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "i"m here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
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